| In the springtime of my youth... |
"Shhhh," she crooned. "You can wake up now." The house mom had rescued me.
Being instructed to wake up seemed a little odd. I had been cognizant for hours by then, carefully remaining motionless, listening to the chaos below.
I was freezing and dirty. I could feel the dust from the couch crust onto my skin. Pot smoke wafted out of the bathroom and stuck to my hair. I'm sure I smelled awful -- a cocktail of vomit and liquor and Vanilla Fantasy.
I blinked. She began talking rapidly: "I can't believe they left you up here. I didn't know. I'm sorry. You drank too much. They left you up here. No one told me. No one told me. I never would have left you. Are you all right?"
No. I wasn't all right. I wasn't all right at all. |
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| Question |
Hey ladies,
A question.
Everybody has their line.
I'm curious. What's yours?
How do you know when it's time to throw in the towel and leave your club?
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| Vice, dance cards, revenue |
Hey Detroit-based strippers,
My secret source informed me that Vice Squad will likely be operating in full force during the Final Four. Make sure you have your Cabaret IDs renewed. Wear booty shorts. Try to avoid "touching yourself suggestively." Grind with one eye behind you. (Ha! I made a pun).
You can thank me later,
Josephine |
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| A note about semen |
If you spoodge after two lap dances -- as in, if you spoodge in six minutes -- then you are pathetic and gross.
If you spoodge after two lap dances -- once again, six minutes -- and don't bother to warn me whilst I am dancing for you, then you are pathetic, gross, and a fucking rapist.
If you spoodge after two lap dances -- six minutes, people! -- without warning me and NEGLECT TO GENEROUSLY TIP ME then don't be surprised when bouncer and I decide to take turns beating your face in.
EDIT: Really, it's pretty pathetic to cum during or because of a lap dance at all. Lap dances aren't ever supposed to have a happy ending.
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| $pread |
I heard through the grapevine that I was referenced in $pread Magazine.
I have a subscription to $pread....but my issue never arrived. Sad. :(
I don't know if my subscription expired or what...I've emailed them and received no response. So if anyone knows how to get a hold of the $pread people I'd really appreciate it. I'll repay everyone with a real, full length post!
Thanks! |
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| whoa |
| I can't believe they named a hurricane after me. Not cool. |
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Friday, April 10, 2009 
posted by Josephine H. at 7:04 PM - 